The Fight

My husband and I will have been married for 13 years on January 3. I love that man. He is strong and good, brave and meek. He inspires me to be a better me. This year, our best year yet, we came face to face with the fact that we may need to fight for our marriage. Our busy lives, with three children and several jobs between the two of us, brought us face to face with that reality. Both being pretty laid back, we have, in many ways breezed through our marriage. As we've watched others struggle, we've wondered at how it seems so easy for us? While we realize the blessing that this has been, we see now that in ways it may have been a detriment.

What happens when it's too easy, when there's no more than a little struggle? What happens when the 'busy' has beckoned you silently away from each other? The struggle, come as it will, does in fact come, and it's suddenly really, really hard. The splash of water on our face wakes us to the impending fight. The fight of a lifetime. The fight for time, for peace, for true love. Quality time, unless it is fought for, does not exist. A solid marriage, without quality time, will eventually not exist either.

This brings me to today, Christmas-time. The celebration of the birth of our Savior, a holy and beautiful time. I have ever been caught up in the lovely tradition of it. I have busied myself through many, many Christmases. Some more meaningful than others, but the true meaning always just a smaller piece of the bigger whole.

Tonight, I am reflecting. My task list is unfinished but I'm enjoying the Phil Wickham Christmas album while basking in the glow of my tree. In the quiet, in the solitude, an uneasy feeling settles in. I wonder if it's possible that I may have 'missed it'...again?

And my mind is reminded of the fight. Because isn't anything of value worth fighting for? Quality time with my King is more than a precious commodity, it's my lifeline, my survival. And the thought occurs to me, why am I not fighting for this with everything in me? Why, instead do I seem to be lulled by some sort of holiday shroud?

And so tonight, I fought. I willed myself to steal away with One who called me, who created me. And then it came... Grace. Peace. Calm. Quiet. His very presence was in itself the answer. It is HE that infiltrates and covers and releases all these beautiful traditions. No matter how hard I try, I cannot, in my own effort, try to fit God into my Christmas. I can't do this with God in any area of my life, but I see that I try to do it at Christmas especially. As Christians, we know the true meaning of Christmas, and so we try really hard to make sure he is adequately dispersed throughout the holidays.

Today, I say for me, I'm all in. Let Him come!

In his Word lies the 'Christmas Definition', so clear, so simple; a prophecy foretold:

"For unto us a child is born,

to us a Son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

- Isaiah 9:6