The Cost of Living

cost-of-living cost'-of-liv'ing (kôst'əv-lĭv'ĭng) adj., definition: n. 1. The average cost of the basic necessities of life, such as food, shelter, and clothing. 2. The cost of basic necessities as defined by an accepted standard.

We've all had our share of pain in life. That's kind of the deal...you breathe air, you experience pain. For me, I've probably had a normal amount. The typical heartbreak, friends let you down, disappointment, even the death of a loved one. Sometimes the pain creeps up on you...you think you're fine, but then it comes out later on. Other times it hits like a freight train, like when I got a phone call that my dad had died unexpectedly, my legs forgot how to stand and I crumpled to the floor in shock. Dealing with the pain of death can be life-lasting as well as earth-shattering, but somehow you expect this. Grief announces itself and comes without question when someone you love, dies. This is the nature of some kinds of pain. It's so expected, you notice only the lack of it.

Other times pain can come unannounced and unexpected...for me that happened with the death of a lifelong dream. The agonizing despair I felt, curled up in a ball, lasted for days and I can honestly say that this kind of pain hurt at quite a different level. In allowing myself to come alive with passion and feel things that I'd kept dormant most of my life, pouring my heart and soul into this dream, there was much at stake. And as life or fate or bad decision-making would have it, it did not survive. So this unannounced pain sets in, survival mode gets switched on and things get a little gray and hazy as the time passes...there are glimpses of beauty and hope, but it's just easier to try not to look at it. Some of us have felt the tinge of the cost of living and at times, we feel it's just not worth it.

If we're lucky, the truth smacks us in the face... "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10). If we allow our pain to define us, debilitate us, to prohibit us from experiencing life to the full, then the thief has won. Jesus came so that we may have Life. Only God, in his mercy and grace, can open our eyes to see this truth and what it is to truly live.

To me, there's so much to truly living...stepping out of our loneliness and making friends, getting involved in the community, starting a new career or relationship, deciding to have children or in my case, making a choice to jump off a cliff for the sake of that heart-of-hearts dream. I would even venture to say to 'live' is choosing to find joy and contentment regardless of whatever situation you are in.

I feel its worth noting to fellow parents, postponing some of our dreams for another day is part of the job description, knowing that there is a time and a season for all things under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3) In my opinion this is different than hope deferred, if we choose it. There is something in the sacrifice and choosing to find joy in whatever the circumstance, that trumps any other desire. God is the one who plans our steps in different seasons of our lives, and while having to put away these desires for the sake of your children can be very difficult, I believe it is different than having painful experiences that cause us to shy away from living life. I'm certain this is the case with any situation, not just parenting!

There is a great cost to truly living. I'm coming to realize that the cost is pain...

What we try so hard to avoid and protect our children from. Is it possible that in our efforts not to ever suffer, we are running away from so much life? I think back to all the seasons of my life, the great ones and the distressing ones. In those very hardest of times, there was a sweetness in my utter despair and need for God. I learned so much of myself and the nature of God and His love for me. Everything changes when in your pain, you see Jesus standing next to you, holding your hand, bringing you through it. The One who experienced more pain than we will ever know. It gives you a rock to stand on in the wonderful times and especially for the next time you experience pain.

From what I've found, it seems like joy isn't made complete without a measure of suffering. If pain wasn't part of the process, can life really be lived to the fullest? Having given birth three times now...would I be as happy to hold that baby in my arms if it didn't cost me something to get her there? Maybe... probably not. When one day my heart-of-hearts dream finally comes to fruition, will it be sweeter because of the road it took to get there? I think it will.

So the question for you and me is...is it worth it?

As I'm sitting here, attempting to define these thoughts and then, in humility, share them with you, I am weighing the cost, wondering if it's worth it. I see the window cracking open again to that dream He has put inside me. But there is a cost, I am being reminded, that to truly live, there will most surely be pain. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18